I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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