I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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