no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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