This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She made me pour olive oil on her.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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