How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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