In the future we'll all be gay
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
