just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
