This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
