WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
