I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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