I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
