We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
