Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
There's even glitter on my cock...
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