I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
