I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
