i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
