don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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