I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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