I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she told me i tasted like america
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
