on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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