well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
