i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize