I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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