all she had left on were here heels. phone five
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I didn't notice because vodka
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
