i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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