I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
should my penis look like a turkey
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
