those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i came on her dog
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
