He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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