i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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