dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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