apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
