I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
