Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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