Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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