He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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