No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
