i was born a porn star she said
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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