Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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