Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
