Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
