I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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