We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
