Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
