I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize