A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My hand turned me down
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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