A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize