The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
