don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
