Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
