but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
