I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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