how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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