id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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