He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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