so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
