I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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