well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
