Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
worst night to have a conscience
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
