Non-Jews are for practice
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
