happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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