Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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