Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We are two peas in an std pod
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
