talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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