I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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