Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
