i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize