i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
