I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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