matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
