Are we in a gay sports bar?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
