I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
