i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize
