I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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